he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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