So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
