Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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