I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
