PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
