i wish starbucks made bloody marys
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
