If that was your dad, he is hot
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
