Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
