I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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