This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
