Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
