also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
