oh god the rape fog is back!
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
