he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
