Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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