I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
