elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
there is glitter all over my balls
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
