Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
