I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
