so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
