erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
