Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
