The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
