whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
