I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
