Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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