I heard we made out
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His nipple licking is glorious
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