Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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