Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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