i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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