Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
