Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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