carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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