I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
