just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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