i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
