dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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