I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
