ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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