Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
