My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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