I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
