I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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