Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
