friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
