How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
