I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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