drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
