I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
