fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
