haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
