I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
