I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
